Since childhood, we’ve been strongly advised against, if not completely forbidden from, talking to strangers. They’re scary, have candy, and are invariably a threat to you for reasons beyond your ability to comprehend. So we stay away, or are locked in the minivan away. But as we get older, there’s rebellion. The itch for independence and to be left to your own devices becomes strong, which, for a while at least, means constantly saying no to old instincts and being compulsively irresponsible. So, naturally, we talk to strangers. A lot of them. All the time.
And it works. Nothing bad happens. We’re amazed. Curiosity abounds. There’s a swell of new friends. Doors open. Horizons expand. Other clichés occur, and it stops, well, never. Eventually, we find that’s the way of adulthood: talking to strangers, networking with strangers, appealing to strangers. It goes from a banned and, reputed by our parents to be, horrible activity to a necessary tool for navigating life, like drinking.
And like most awesome things that we grow to love, there comes a point where doing it in the flesh of real everyday life isn’t enough. It must transcend. It must become virtual. It must be on the Internet.
Unless you’re a dog, performance artist, desperate exhibitionist or a 16 year-old girl, chances are you haven’t heard of Chatroulette. If you are any of these things, except for a dog, chances are a large percentage of the population wants nothing to do with you.
The Chatroulette concept is simple: strangers talking with strangers, hearkening back to the days of the Internet’s infancy and the chat room. You go to the website and you’re in. No username. No sign up. You’re instantly connected, aurally and visually, to a complete stranger. It’s kind of like Skype but with all ten thousand Chatroulette users at any given time distributed across a wheel ala The Price is Right and then spun for your amusement. You going get a lot of pennies (blank screens), nickels (still photos) and dimes (amateur pornographers), but every once in a while, you hit ONE DOLLAR!!! and you’re in the showcase showdown.
Let me show you what I mean.
WHAT? Brilliant.
Nicely done.
And whatever this is:
That looks like the most fun ever.
What’s the moral of story, you ask? Well, I don’t really know. I know that Chatroulette is a lot of fun. So is talking to strangers. I also know that you’re likely to see a lot of really disgusting self-gratification if you decide to try your chatroulette chances anytime later than early afternoon. So beware, but also don’t, because Chatroulette is what life’s about. Not all the self-gratification, but taking chances and weeding out the duds from the gems. There are a lot of them out there. They all communicate differently and some of them are doing really amazing things, on or off of Chatroulette. The next time you meet a stranger, don’t eat his candy. Don’t run either. Put on your Walt Whitman hat, or more literally a spiderman mask…
…and ask them if they know any stupid human tricks. What they show you might speak volumes.
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