The World’s Most Boring Parade

noggBLOG permalink February, as we all know, is the shortest month. And thank God for that. It’s blistery, dark, and every four years we are treated to a perfect storm of “who cares” when the world is forced to stop questioning why Groundhog’s Day is a thing and instead turn its holiday-wearied head to the nearest television for that leftover tuna casserole of all sporting events: the Winter Olympics.

New Year, New Noggin

This time around we’re really going to do it. Really. We’re going to do it. All the way ‘til that big ball drops again, we’re turning over a new leaf. Sticking with it. We’re going to take the bull by the horns and ride that sucker into a new day. A new us. We’ll make hay while the sun shines. Be thinner, better. Fitter, happier. Faster, stronger. We’re going to self-improve. That’s because it’s the New Year, baby, and we’re makin’ resolutions!

Make Christmas Right-Side Up Again

Eggnog. Twinkle lights. Fresh-baked cookies. Bad sweaters. Worse music. Relatives. Family disputes. Alcohol. Making up. Perhaps a carol then sleep, and all the while, standing nobly in the corner, is a coniferous, green, conical reminder that Christmas time is here. Happiness and cheer. So why are people hanging their goddamn Christmas trees upside-down instead of upright like normal people do?

Beyond Burgers – A Showdown

Beyond Burgers. Beyond Burgers. Beyond Burgers. We’ve been hearing it everywhere, but what does this nonsense actually mean? Aside from the health and environmental concerns that go along with eating red meat in general, the burger is one of man’s greatest achievements. An impeccably adorned hunk of meat, dripping with grease and cheese and most likely some big, honkin’ strips of bacon (because duhhh). What could possibly go beyond that? Well, we decided to find out. It’s difficult to believe almost anything you read these days, and the rise of the Beyond Burger is no... Read The Rest →

The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of

Sure, IKEA sells plenty of grommelnuugens and flarstones and all types of cruntlink, but did you know they also sell dreams? Literally. Well, not literally. Figuratively.

Brandless: Bargain or Bust?

One of the greatest advantages of living in the golden age of e-commerce is the ability to comparison shop from your couch. Pants are optional. So is hygiene. And thank God you don’t have to speak to anyone for any reason whatsoever. You can search for the essentials you know and love while hunting down the best possible price among innumerable digital storefronts, and once you’ve found that top bargain have it all delivered to your door for a nominal fee. What a world. But what if there was an... Read The Rest →

Ed Stilley, God and Guitars

Guitars are a thing of measurement and precision. Intonation, tone, expressiveness, color: the artisan strives to craft each instrument to have the best of these nebulous, yet integral qualities. Many luthiers (guitar builders) spend their entire lives learning centuries-old techniques in order to craft the perfect body, perfect neck, every detail of the perfect instrument. Ed Stilley is a luthier. But unlike most luthiers, Ed Stilley never learned the techniques that go into making a guitar. In fact, Ed Stilley doesn’t know the first thing about the tradition, but that doesn’t stop him.

You Suck At Cooking

You know you do. Admit it. (Unless you don’t. In which case, come on, buddy.) You don’t need to be told that you suck, though. You just need a little help, but for good measure how about both? You Suck At Cooking is a wonderfully sharp online cooking series that will both shame and inspire into cooking better food. Its mantra says it all: “No bullshit. Just cooking. (except for all of the bullshit).”

Put The Sizzl in Your Love Life

My bacon has a first name. It’s “O-S-C-A-R.” My bacon has a second name. It’s “P-L-E-A-S-E  S-E-N-D  N-U-D-E-S.” Bacon lovers, rejoice! Yes, meat and novelty bus conglomerate Oscar Meyer has gotten into the hookup game, introducing a new, bacon-focused dating app: Sizzl.

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